LoNeLiNesS in My HeArT

"maybe this is my destiny, LoVe someone without being LOvE"

this some of the lyrics taken from one of Indonesian band's song called "Cinta Dalam HAti by ungu"
I'm not trying to attract attention from people but this is exactly happened to me.
I cant help it and cant take it but this is the truth that i have to face with.
I'm always fall in love with someone without being love from that person.
I dont know what's wrong but i'm always had been left heart broken before she even notice that she is hurting me.
Sometimes i'm wondering why this is always happened to me?
Why i cant get love from the one that i love?
It is sometimes feel like i had been cursed.
It's hurting me from inside and i think my heart is slowly dying because of this.
I dont want nothing except running the ordinary happy life with my love one just like everyone else.
I dont understand why i cant make the girls that i love happy?
SOmetimes i blamed myself for this.
Sometimes i feel so stupid because i know it wont work but i try harder and harder.
Now i just leave it to GOD to set up my love life.
I'm sick of it.
I LOve you BUT WHY u CanT love me dear?
what to say..Love IS BLIND and CAnT be Forced

*sighs*

LoVe'S SiCk or SwEeT tHiNgS?

i dont know which is really a love..
sorry Reeha coz my heart is not for you anymore..
i've been waiting for almost 3years for you..
but suddenly my heart have been taken by someone..
since i doing my practical, i always contact her..
almost everyday..
i really missed her when im doing my practical..
she is my goodfriend before..
my mom like her..
my family like her..
and i've met her family where i felt comfortable with them..
i feel like she is the one for me..
i want to tell her after i heard she just break-off with her bf..
but too late for me bcoz her ex-bf came and tell her his feelings..
i know she do love her ex-bf very much so i pretend to be happy for her..
but after im back from my training,i heard they are not in a relationship anymore..
and i know she is really in bad condition right now coz she love him very much..
i try to cheer up her life, try to make her happy
but i think it wont work..
i want to tell the truth about my feeling for her but im afraid i'll ruin our friendship..
what im going to do?i dont want she fall in other people after this...
i want her to be mine..i really confused right now anne..
yeah that girl in my heart right now is 'Anne'
cant someone help me?

Practical oh my Practical

im not really sure i like the memories in there..
i'd been placed in The Datai, Langkawi one of the 5star resort in Langkawi..
but the placed i think it is sucked..
i have no spirit at all to do my practical
4 months in there felt like i'm in jailed..
god, my executive chef also make me really sick..cant mention him in here
but damn i hate him..
the only things that make me happy is when im entered the pastry kitchen..
the people is nice especially suzana, the cdp in that kitchen..
i also cant forget chef annuar in western or i should call him 'Papa"..
he is really nice like a father to me..
he gave me a spirit to continue my training and for my future..
but other than that i dont want to remember at all
SUCk! DAMN! FUck! I dont like the memories..

Thank god i've finish the training..
i feel so alive..hahahaha
but now i've a headache to finish my training report
if someone can help me, feel free to msg me k
hehehe:p